Superb Son

Hello Son, now you are turning 50, I look back and think how proud I am that you are my very thoughtful and caring son. Where has the time gone? Over the years I have been told on many occasions “What a nice boy Brian is”, everybody loved you, even back when you were a paperboy…that’s my boy they are talking about, you can’t imagine how chuffed that made me feel. So now that you are the big 50, don’t ever change, keep your sunny smile and happy nature. I love you very much, Mum x x x

I write this on behalf of my parents, who loved Brian like a son, in fact, my mum hinted that she would keep Brian if we ever split up. He showed so much love, patience and compassion for them. Although all was not wonderful, when Brian offered to paint their hall, it took him way longer than my dad thought it should have, commenting “he’s the son of a painter man, he’d never make money if he was to do it as a job”. Brian spent lots of time watching the Rugby with my dad, in his last days watching Scotland win (again), just to keep Frankie Boy happy.

Brilliant Brother

It’s hard to believe that these two would end up at times firm enemies, Brian the annoying brother, and Lesley the annoying sister. Even though they fought, they had one enemy, and that was veggies – thankfully Bob was always there to rescue them, by eating the cauliflower and broccoli for them…Brian also had the trick of going to the loo and spitting it out with mum being none the wiser.

As children they loved the Beano and Dandy, and were always delighted if Santa left the annual in their Christmas pile. Brian was always a wee bit jealous, and couldn’t understand why his mum never punished them with the slipper…well she did, and it was one of these….

Betty gave Brian a good old bashing with the heel, and just for info, Lesley told me tonight that she had blamed him for something that she had done. So Betty, if you remember him protesting his innocence, and his sister smirking in the background, you now know the truth.

Well that’s you half a century old now, you’re catching up with me! We’ve had many amazing adventures and there is no one I’d rather have spent them with. Looking forward to many more! Not only are you my kind, thoughtful wee brother but you are also my friend. I love you hunners kiddo. Have a fantastic day Kelso, lots and lots of love, Elsie x x x

We all went on holiday to Portugal, in those days we were skinny enough just to go topless. We persuaded Mum to join us. All was going well until Brian came out of the pool and ran over to Mum and “beep beeped” her nipples, this was something she had done to Brian and Lesley when they were young. Needless to say, Mum was mortified& the bikini top never came off again.

Brian became the brother I never had and accepted both Rhona and I as his family. He always introduced me to his friends as his big Sis. I remember meeting him and his friends in a club when I was in my 30s and he came up and gave me a huge hug and said “This is my big sister”, with no sign of embarrassment!

Brian, I can’t believe my luck the day you became my brother. Such a happy, smiley, thoughtful and caring brother. Life can be cruel and life can be amazing and you are definitely the amazing part. Please don’t ever change, you are perfect the way you are. From your big Sis, Rhona 💗💗💗 xxx

During the big America trip, we landed in Palm Springs.  We decided this day that we were going to chill and have a day by the pool.  Went to the 7/11 and got our ‘wee’ carry out.  Drinks were flowing well round the pool.  By dinner time we were pretty merry and decided to order pizza in, when the pizza arrived, the old phrase eating is cheating was bandied about quite a bit. 

We moved over to the fire pit and continued with the alcoholic beverages (I think we had to replenish the supplies).  Wendy went to the toilet and Brian decided it would be a great idea to hide underwater and give her a fright as she came back.  He submerged himself under the water a tad too early and lost his glasses in the pool.  He was swimming underwater trying to find him and looked to us that he was getting into a bit of difficulty, I had to save him and the glasses. 

Not long after, I think we were all dancing round the fire pit, when Brian decided to have a closer look and face planted the pit, luckily there was no fire.  When he stood up, his face, T-shirt hands were covered in soot, he looked like he’d been down the mines.

Growing up Kelso Style

Family holidays often saw the Kelly’s heading South to the Vauxhall Holiday Park in Great Yarmouth. Mummy K was super organised and would fill up a hamper and send it down, 3 weeks in advance, the only downside, was it had to be humfed from the train station to the caravan. Thankfully, everybody had had their cold roll and bacon, the staple snack for the start of the holiday. Fun times were had by all, especially this wee cutie in the sand.

Uncle Billy would take Brian and Stephen on many an adventure, hearing the stories as an adult does make you ask “what was Betty and Linda thinking of, letting him out with their babies”.

On one of their holidays to Newquay, Brian & Stephen (both aged 16), hired surf boards and suits. When they were walking down the beach they were getting wolf whistles from quite a few girls, and I think this went to their heids; so, later on that day, without telling us, they tried to get into a pub…and got flung oot!

Unfortunately we don’t have a photo of Brian in his wet suit, although uncle Billy has sent one of Stephen, I don’t want to post it because he may sue!

Tween to Twenties

The Communication Years

Brian made a career change in May 1996 when he joined BT as a Small Business Analyst. He has made lifelong friends from this time in his life, but whilst gaining these friends, he lost one of his best friends, Chick, and the threesome became two.

Life long friendships were made during Brian’s time at BT, there was lots of partying and nights out, basically we would have celebrated the opening of a packet of crisps.

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Brian moved on to pastures new, leaving BT in late 1999 to join INS, to sell the new phenomenon which was the Internet, and big fat circuits.

After a few years with INS, Brian again made a move, this time to Telewest, where he was a successful Account Manager even wining a wine tasting trip to Bordeaux…no wine was consumed, in fact Brian didn’t even take the tour, instead decided to say in a bar tasting…beer, and lots of it.

Wonderful Husband

Meeting you on our first day at BT wasn’t as memorable for me as it was for you, I now know that you fancied “the nursery nurse from Cumbernauld”, I was only interested in learning my new job.

When we were at Kentshill, I found out what a fabulous soul you were, funny, kind and loved to party…my type of person.

On the night in March 2005, when we decided that we should tie the knot, fueled with love and mostly vodka, we made the pact. Definitely a sobering moment when we woke up on the Sunday morning to remember we’d drunk called both sets of parents to announce our happy news…well we had to do it then!

You have brought so much fun to my life, we’ve seen so many wonderful places and made good friends through the years. You are my soulmate, my best (male) friend, and the love of my life. You are everything that I could have wished for, and more. I love, like you so much Mr K.

The Stag

The Wedding Day

The photo’s pretty much finished at this point, as Brian being his thoughtful self told the photographer he’d had a long day and should just get himself home…he did have a pretty peeved wife when this was discovered.

Amazing Dad

Well, well, well….where do I start. You were my mum’s friend Brian who made me CDs. I remember the night I caught you two sneaking a kiss, and that was the beginning of your story as a father. The teenage years were rough (for both of us!), however through the arguments became the understanding of each other, even though we didn’t agree at times. You were there when I experienced my first broken heart, passing my driving test, getting into Uni and graduating…twice. I couldn’t have asked for a better person for my mum and you definitely stepped up to the mark when you signed the marriage agreement and inherited me. You are one very special man and I hope you have the most wonderful 50th birthday with all of your surprises. We adore you BK. Lauryn, Argo & Theo x x x

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Caring Uncle

Uncle Brian has always been such a caring and protective uncle – and he (you both) always make me feel so loved as a niece, especially when I was your flower girl for your wedding and you both put in so much effort to make me feel involved in the planning and made sure I felt like such a special part of your day.

He is always the life and soul of a party and makes sure everyone is having a good time (and the alcohol is flowing)! He’s hilarious all the time but especially when he’s drunk and I have so many funny memories from our family parties – like just on Saturday when he was adamant that he will only now refer to James as Jimbo.

I also love how seriously he takes his clinkers tasting abilities! I can’t believe he’s turning 50 since he’s still a teenager at heart, and I pray that him turning 50 doesn’t affect his drinking abilities! Happy birthday Uncle Brian, love you lots, Kerry xxx

Friend

Was that a dream?

One Festive Season many moons ago my Parents wanted to go away for New Year. My elder brother was now old enough that he could do his own thing so, he didn't have to come along. That left me with the dread of having a boring time on my own so I politely asked if I could bring a friend along. Yes, of course they said. How wonderful I thought. Immediately I asked Brian and his Parents said it was okay too. Game on, what adventures we would have!

On our travels we go, through the hills of Scotland to Newtonmore, to a desolate and somewhat decrepit old Hotel in the middle of nowhere. Let's just say my Parents were underwhelmed at the bells festivities (or lack of) and by New Year's day bags were packed, we were back in the car heading for Aviemore to stay for the next night. Ya dancer, said Brian and I (a couple of young skiers now on a trip to Mecca), maybe even the possibility of meeting some people (girls) our own age. How exciting!

Snow wise this was a particularly poor winter with very little ability for people to ski. On arrival in Aviemore it resembled more of Soddom and Gomorrah due to ski starved adults who had turned to alcohol and its resulting affect. No matter to two bright young teenagers, we had a cinema, fruit machines and an ice rink (which by the way had a real danger of fingers being lopped off due to drunk skaters). We made the best of it, playing games, ogling girls, blazing through the day tiring ourselves out, stuffing ourselves with sweets and fizzy pop ready for the final treat. Our own double room to share (Parents were next door), how grown up!

That night I struggled to sleep. As mentioned the place was busy due to the lack of snow. I've never been a good sleeper so I put things down to the excitement of the day we had and too much sugar. So much so when I finally nodded off I had the strangest dream. In this dream two hungry Yetis had come down from their Cairngorm Hideaway because the lack of snow had stopped them snatching the odd skier at the top of the mountain for some much needed sustenance (they hibernate in the summer don't you know). Angry and famished they were on a rampage through the town chasing Brian and I. The fear was palpable, they were scary! We tried to bob and weave to different hidy holes but to no avail they just kept coming. Somehow Brian and I got separated and I had to witness what I can only describe as horrific. There he was, my best friend being strewn in different directions by both Yetis desperate to satisfy their overwhelming appetites. Even in my dream I'm terrified, not just at witnessing the mauling of my dear friend but for my Parents. How would they be able to tell Betty and Bobby? It was their decision to leave the sleepy old Hotel remember.

I wake up with ‘Wow that was vivid! As I lay there still reeling from my sugar induced coma but with a hurried desire to share the contents of my dream with Brian. He'll get a kick out of it I thought. Brian's always been tougher than flighty old me.

I turn to Brian full of smiles and enthusiasm, 'Morning...wait to I tell you this' I exclaim. Strangely Brian seems somewhat subdued, quiet even and not too interested to hear my tale from the slumber land. The awkward silence is quickly broken as Brian says... 'You're an utter prick by the way! How could you sleep?'

Transpires it wasn't a dream I had but a misinterpretation of an event where two very drunk young English gents had been boisterously looking for their hotel room door (I hadn't thought to lock ours), entered our room in the middle of the night laughing and singing then proceeded to rag doll Brian from his bed in his underpants and wave him about by his ankles for a couple of seconds before fleeing the room amused at themselves. To which, I was awoken by the ruckus, thought it was a dream and promptly turned over and went back to sleep.

Baby face Brian


As Brian has reached his half century I'm sure he would enjoy the odd compliment saying he looks good for his age or he looks younger than 50. Well, this wasn't always the case. In his post pubescent but pre-adult phase of life Brian was wracked by the same basic desires most of us would have went through. A little bit of awkward sex, some underage drinking, maybe even some streaks in his hair (it was the eighties). Nothing crazy, just the things you think will help you on the journey to maturity. One of the mythological places that provides a rite of passage to a hormone fuelled teenager is 'The Nightclub'. Tales of  hedonism and Dionysian mysteries filled our heads with the opportunity to gain entry to our adult lives through this elusive place that we had heard about from older cousins, brothers and sisters. The concern for Brian in realising this dream was always his baby face.

Not to be hindered by such juvenile matters a plan was struck! Brian, Scott and I were going to the dancing. Ya dancer (literally).

At this time Brian and Scott were living in Glasgow. Too risky, the city is big and those discotheques required a boldness we knew we didn't possess. Rethink, rethink! We have it... I was living in Cumbernauld and there are stories of Papa Docs (not the Haitian dictator), a nightclub that my elder brother went to with his football team. No-one knows us, we can do this, let's do this! We're from Glasgow, of course this is doable. Bit of swagger, nice shirt and a splash of Dad's Old Spice and we're off. How could we fail?

Now this a big deal for Brian so, preparations need to be in order. Wash, shave (maybe not necessary), iron clobber, jonny in wallet, get picked up by Scott in his car and Cumbernauld here we come. All going well!

Brian and Scott arrive at mine. Boys are looking good. Ready to rock. Let's have a wee livener before we head out, not too much. Don't want to ruin things. Keep the heid. Time passes and nerves grow before we leave. What if, what if? Okay, contingency plans underway. I say, 'Brian, my brother has a provisional driving licence and he's over 18. Take that, it doesn't have a picture. You won't need it, it's back up. You look great! Have you done something with your hair?

We're out the house, en route. The three must get beers on our journey to wine, women and song. Hurrah! We take our time walking, Brian wants to review the contents of the licence...just in case. Okay, good idea. Scott and I offer to pop quiz Brian on my brother's details. Don't be daft, I've looked at it Brian said. By this point we are almost there, we can hear the loud music and heavy bass whilst watching queues form outside the club. Pep talk! Boys, we can do this. Just five more minutes of being cool and we're in. Heaven awaits! The queue is okay, everyone seems friendly enough. Our time arrives at the front of the queue. Scott being the tallest takes front position...no bother, he's in! Being a good friend he hangs around just past the Cerberean bouncer waiting for the next one of us to enter. The temperature rises. Next motions the bouncer...this is it Brian is heading in. Things seem to be going well then, "You got any ID mate?". We're still in with a chance, Brian produces 'his' licence with confidence and hands it over. Time slows down as the bouncer pours over the license. Chants from all the teenage Brian's who have ever lived before must be sounding through Brian's head 'Come on Brian, you can do it, we did!'. It looks like we are in the clear then the bouncer whilst still holding the licence asks 'What's your date of birth mate?'

Brian and I didn't go to primary school together but my confidence is still high. I'm sure years ago he told me something about scouts or cubs or boys brigades. That's all about being prepared right? He checked the licence, right?

A strange silence takes over the night air and possibly the faint, whimpering sound of air being expelled from about Brian's person.

'Eh, what?' Brian asks. 'Your date of birth?' the bouncer repeats. 'Erm, mumble, mumble random numbers' is all that can be heard from Brian at this point.

Scott retreats from his half entered position just in time to hear the bouncer broadcast in front of the remaining queue 'Come back when you've memorised it Mate.' The three of us leave heads down on our journey home. 'What happened?' Scott and I asked.

In essence, the response we got from Brian was he had memorised every part of the licence with the exception of the one area you would expect a nightclub bouncer to check, your age!

Not too worry about our hero Brian dear reader. Mr Kelly has been periodically tripping the light fantastic at Papa Docs for thirty years since that fateful evening.

So Brido son, that’s you reached the big 50 and I’m sure you’re enjoying your 50th celebrations. I just wanted to share a wee story with everyone about the first time we met, 27 years ago, when I was first introduced to BRK1 back in our days in Direct Line. I knew straight away when we clicked, that this guy will do for me, and I knew we were in for a lifelong friendship, and it’s never actually let up. We’ve not actually had any ups and downs mate, we’ve remained tight over the 27 years and we’ve shared many a good memory, holidays, stags, parties, nights out, nights in, some glorious days with the Rangers and some bad days as well, we’re over that now. We didn’t get to Florida this year, which was a disappointment, but we’ve got all of that to look forward to next year and still within your 50th year. So, I hope you’re having a great time and I’ll see you very soon and it’ll be time to get the beers in. Cheers Brido son, love you to bits bro.

Brido

A boy made in Blue with a heart coloured Gold
It’s Oor Brido’s birthday, the man’s getting old
The years have gone fast but a blast has been had
And we’ve laughed our way thru the good and the bad

Like your chocolate legs, who the fuck knew
You’d be held together with a bolt and a screw
Full of life & Buds, tuned to the moon
Singing into a wooden spoon

The Hayston Marquee, where we all loved to chill
As Rotten Ride Ray rolled down the hill
I built you a barbie which turned out pretty grand
Then we watched the sun rise, Kahlua in hand

I tried to discover in November or May
We can all sing Erasure, you don’t have to be gay
Mother Glasgow while we’re all still able
And you can’t sing Elbow unless on top of the table

 Lauryn dealing shots to get us all wrecked
As Little & Freer fight for the decks
Bum Cheek Bum Cheek, the shout of many a night
As Wendy partied hard with her eyes shut tight

The Jean’s & Oor Frankie, all sorely missed
And all of them leaders in how to get pissed
Neither the date nor the venue can change what is clear
The Kelly’s Bash is the event of the year

These last 50 years have been Simply The Best
And we all cannot wait to share in the rest
So enjoy your day mate, it’s all about you
And we’ll all raise a glass to our boy made in Blue 💙

So BK you’re 50!! Thinking back to the first time we were introduced it wisny exactly love at first sight but more like we’re gonna have a fist fight. But over the years I have gotten to know you and you truly are one of the best guys I know.

Your support for me and the boys during our “troubles” (I sound like Northern Ireland) has been selfless and altruistic (thank you Alexa) the laughs and the parties 🎉 at Hayston and Blawearie are some of the best memories I hold.

The way you love ❤️ my bestie and my niece warms the cockles of my heart and means that you are also my bestie forever. Love you Brido Happy Birthday 🥳 babes xxx love Carol and the beastie boys 😘

Sooooooo what can I say about Brian …… Brian I was introduced to you only 3 short years ago, I never knew back then that when you take on a Keith Courtie, you also inherit amazing life long friends, in you Wendy, Lauryn and the rest the gang . You have a heart made of solid gold a smile that would light up a room, a shit football team and a dodgy taste in music, you pour a mean gin though so that makes up for it !!! Brian yer a belter our very own 50 year old wonderwall !!! Happy birthday Brian love ya loads,…. You’ll never walk alone xx 😉💚

The Host Who Parties The Most

There is nothing Brian loves more than to host a party, or attend a party, or a virtual party…any excuse to get his friends and family around for a bit of Kelly Karaoke!

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There was a very memorable party, back in May 2017, it started like this….

and a little bit of this…..

And after 5 days in hospital a little bit of metal to help put him together again….all because Courtie wanted a piggyback.

I think everyone who has been in his company would agree, he is the host that parties the most.

Top DIYer

Nothing gives Brian the fear more than Wendy drawing things to make, he gets pretty frustrated when she takes time off work, as this generally results in a design of something for him to create.

It must be said, that Brian could never be classed as a keen gardener, often blaming the grass for not being the real thing, and it being meadow…if that is even a thing?

From creating raised beds, to guttering and even transforming the side garden, there is no ends to BKs talents.

That’s you reached the end…..

Everyone has shared the same words to describe you, thoughtful, kind, smiley, and most importantly, how you have made us feel.

WE LOVE YOU BK AND HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST BIRTHDAY YEAR